Julia Gillard, Tony Abbott and Leonardo Dicaprio have a lot more in common than you would think. All three have invaded my hopes, dreams and aspirations, then carefully and systematically destroyed them.

Dream number 1. No more references to tomato sauce by politicians ever again. Failed. 

Aspiration number 2. Environmentally conscious and proactive politicians that utilise creative solutions to harrowing problems. Destroyed

Hope number 3. A government that reflects the voice of the people, constructively exhibiting how the democratic process can work. Slowly spiralling into the pile of discarded desires. 

As is evident by this charade of an election, neither party shall accurately carry the voice of the Australian people. What we need to do now is look forward forgetting the joke of a government that shall exist for the next four years or so.

We must look towards the young and aspiring politicians of Australia. What Australian politics needs now is depth, character and intelligence, so I ask of our schools, universities and workplaces, will the real Australian government please stand up?   . . read more

...Kevin Rudd, the guest of honour at the launch of ABC 3 was the victim of a security scare from an unnamed contracted cleaner.

The story gets stranger as the AFP, the cleaning company and the ABC itself all refused to comment on what had happened.

It might not be a fair comparison but this 'incident' did make me think of the media world's reaction to Tareq and Michaele Sahali's White House invasion last week.

The couple got scorned and ridiculed from all corners and the Secret Service was forced to make an embarrasing apology for this uncharacteristic slip up.

Here though, Rudd's 'dance with death' has only been run on the 7pm ABC news (it didn't even make it to ABC online) and it looks like that will be it from here on in.

There hasn't been any mention of what risk Rudd had been placed in or what will be done differently to avoid similar breaches.

Why the difference if both breaches were equally harmless?

In my mind it shows that the media knows that Rudd's security isn't exactly going set the water-cooler ablaze, and that Rudd himself probably realises that to talk about it or investigate it further would look weak to a country that still prides itself on its stiff upper lip.

Kind of comforting that in Australia, the politicians ain't too precious.

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Long knives and short memories seem to be the go. Add to that a complete disregard for the empowerment of community by social networks, mobile technology and the culture of the ‘local' and you have the recipe for the demise of parliamentary democracy.

Not that we will be sorry to see it go. What is interesting, however, is when and what will replace the two-party system and the party machines.

AS a first step look out for the proliferation of political parties in the next Australian elections as voters embrace pluralism in a stand against the Obeid's and Tripodi's of this world.

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Atkinson, who has the right to veto the lifting of a national ban on video games rated too violent and extreme for consumption said he has received threatening notes from gamers.

"I feel that my family and I are more at risk from gamers than we are from the outlaw motorcycle gangs who also hate me."

Currently Australia has a ban on adult or R rated games, where interestingly movies with the same themes of violence, language, nudity and drug use are allowed.  And is the only country in the Western democracy that doesn't have an adult rating system in place.

Perhaps he feels introducing an adult R+ rating would increase the sort of anti-social behaviour we see in these games, because isn't it true that all gamers including myself are 2D assassins just looking for a good excuse to blow people to smithereens?  . . read more

For all the groaning that comes with elections, there are two parts of the day which are genuinely fun.

The first comes when you go down to the local church or school and get hit by the crazy carnival atmosphere of spruikers trying to change your opinion, disinterested kids running about and everyone talking to each other with smiles about what a hassle it is to vote.

The second comes later at the traditional election party where everyone gets pissed, scorns every candidate and again talks about what a hassle it is to vote.

Pity that the choices, and the results aren't as fun as the day itself.   . . read more

Poor Julia has had quite some issues of late. All that trouble with the Indian killings had given poor Julia a great headache. After all, her diplomatic skills are as pathetic as if Kevin Rudd were trying to grow a moustache.

All those denials, all that effort to avoid the situation, had really taken her out of her comfort zone.

But now, Julia felt right at home.

Yes! Now is my time to shine. Now is my time to show Australia that I can be a true leader!

"It's a scandal!” mouthed Julia "I think we want to see a lot of the Boxing Kangaroo, particularly now that we've had this ridiculous ruling. So, yes, boxing kangaroos everywhere.

" Phew, Julia thought to herself, and smiled happily. I’ve done it – saved a flag with a boxing kangaroo on it from persecution by the Olympic committee, for the honour and glory of my country.

For this is what an Australian leader does!

Pout for Australia!

Our country doesn’t elect ministers and cabinets to further Australia’s place in the world, to handle tense diplomatic negotiations with an overarching developing superpower, to strive to achieve the best for Australia and its inhabitants.

No sir! All Australian voters really want is a mascot with a large mike.

“And I’ll give it to them”, thought Julia “this is what I got into politics for”.

For what on Earth do people expect?

It’s as if they want her to answer the tough questions all the time. Come on everyone!

She’s just Julia!

Who do you think she is?

The Deputy Prime Minister?  . . read more

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In Tasmania, a large vocal minority of Greens will have the balance of power in a hung parliament, there will be infighting and bickering until the Liberal Opposition claims a minor majority and thrusts forward its impotent Premier into the melee.

In South Australia, Rann will win, but his bravado and virility will be curbed as his ability to nonchalantly wave around his policy penis becomes hampered.

What all this seems to show is that Labor is slipping, the Greens and the environment movement are gaining a lot of traction and Australia is divided.

Hopefully not to the point where Red and Blue States form which look at each other with systemic suspicion, but it does seem that these divides are becoming increasingly irreconcilable.  

Bet Labor wishes they could turn back the clock two years when they controlled every government at State and Federal level and do things a bit differently.  . . read more

The tackiness of the image has been much discussed, but still thousands of young people make the self-styled pigrimage to the site of our baptism of fire every year.

On the eve of Anzac day that tackiness came to full force when Allison Langdon, a Channel 9 journalist, spoke about the 'fun' to be had, with a fun run planned near to the site where Australian and New Zealand troops first stormed Turkish beaches. 

How ridiculous.

This is a day of solemity.

This is a day to remember the everyman that was betrayed and led to their ultimate destruction by the ultimately stupid leaders and stupid politicians that put them there. This is a day not to question why it happened, but to question why we continue to make the same mistakes. 

And finally for all the fucking idiots standing on a beach in Gallipoli, this is a day to remember that like our current wars, you're remembering an invasion where there was no right for us to be there.  . . read more

The teacher's report card reads like this:

• Message 1 Reconciliation with our indigenous forebears to activate appreciation. BIG TICK KEVIN. THE NEXT STEP IS CRITICAL
• Message 2 Signing Kyoto to take a global position on the environment. WELL DONE RATIFYING THE PROTOCOL IN DECEMBER - YOUR FIRST  ACT AS AUSTRALIA'S NEW LEADER BUT YOU ARE STILL MUCH TOO CAGEY ABOUT TAKING A GLOBAL LEADERSHIP ROLE
• Message 3 Withdrawing troops from Iraq to break the U.S. sycophancy. A GOOD START, KEVIN, BUT REDPLOYING THEM IN AFGANISTAN? GO AND SEE CHARLIE WILSON'S WAR AND THINK AGAIN
• Message 4 Dramatically increasing the funding for public and university education to stimulate innovation and opportunity. YOU SEEM TO BE BUILDING YOUR POSITION HERE BUT WE'D LIKE YOU TO BE A BIT BOLDER AND SORT OUT THESE DREADFUL STATE EDUCATION DEPARTMENTS AND WORSE UNIONS
• Message 5 Providing tax and financial incentives on the demand side for alternative and renewable energy. NOT MUCH TO SHOW HERE; YOU COULD TRY HARDER - IN A WORLD OF SUPPLY UNCERTAINTY MANAGING DEMAND IS THE KEY!

Note from the Principal

All in all a good first term and you surprised us all with the announcement of the April Australia 2020 meeting in Canberra. Lay it on the line, Kevin, and don't let the U.S.-led world recession drag you down. Helen Clark is a better role-model than George Bush. And remember for next term - no one is smarter than all of us . . read more