RESUMÉ REVISED November 2008 EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
LAW ENFORCEMENT:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pleaded guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.
MILITARY:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my use of cocaine. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.
COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.
PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.
I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought Harken Oil, drove it into the ground, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought a 1% share the Texas Rangers and was made president of the team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.
With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.
ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
In 2007 a Congressional Budget Office estimate put cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan as $2.4 trillion by the end of the decade, or nearly $8,000 per man, woman and child in the country.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.
In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continued year after year.
In my last months in office I presided over a financial meltdown that has bankrupted major industries across the world and is still destroying lives. Millions of people have lost their homes and their retirement income.
But this is what matters: I bailed out the big guys.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.
My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named in her honor.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the biggest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron. Private jets and corporate attorneys were provided by Enron to
assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court in winning the 2000 election.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
When Hurricane Katrina hit, I fucked up. But I shifted the blame onto others.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2000 U.S. election).
In 2004 I again tampered with the elections to ensure a Republican victory.
My administration launched a war against science. We censored and suppressed vital environmental and health research. This included falsifying data about the safety of Ground Zero in New York after the 9-11 attacks, editing climate change reports to counteract scientific data and hiding, delaying or suppressing scientific findings unflattering to industries that supported me.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the International Criminal Court.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community. That's leadership.
At a 2004 Republican fund raiser I revealed my sense of humor with a running gag about the hunt for weapons of mass destruction. Over a slide of me looking under a table at the White House, I said, "Those weapons of mass destruction have gotta be here somewhere."
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.
I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. So what?
I am a President with the lowest ratings in history (currently 23%), but I started more wars than my father.
I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I secretly permitted the CIA and other agencies to practice torture on detainees and to implement cruel and unusual punishments. The majority of victims turned out to be innocent.
I repeatedly assured the world that the "U.S does not torture".
I secretly slipped into legislation a pardon for myself and my associates for authorizing torture.
I created a secret propaganda campaign to manufacture a false case for war against Iraq, and fraudulently claimed the 9/11 attacks on America were linked to Saddam Hussein. And I got away with it.
I violated the U.S. Constitution and the War Powers Act of 1973 when I used $2 billion appropriated for other programs to prepare for the invasion of Iraq.
I extinguished the ancient right of habeas corpus, despite its black-and-white guarantee in the Constitution.
I am accused by the International Red Cross, Human Rights groups and numerous other agencies, including a range of NGO's, respected authors, lawyers and even some members of Congress, of committing major war crimes. They can go to hell.
As commander in chief of the Wars on Terror, I have approved the imprisoning of over 2500 children. At least eight of those children, some as young as 10, were held at Guantanamo Bay. As CEO of America, my authority overrides international law.
I can think outside the box. I have extended to constitutional powers of the Presidency by creating secret laws; announcing the intent to violate existing laws with signing statements; failing to comply with congressional subpoenas and instructing former employees not to comply; and spying on American citizens without a court-ordered warrant.
I exposed Valerie Plame as a secret employee of the CIA.
I set the record for the least number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. I excel in the four hour work week.
I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world - the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. But I've made America stronger.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. How about that?
I am the first President in history to claim that my powers as commander in chief in wartime are limitless.
In 2004 I gave the military new authority to attack suspected terrorists anywhere in the world, and a more sweeping mandate to conduct operations in countries not at war with the United States.
I have even authorized covert actions in counties that are allies of the United States.
My decision to attack Afghanistan and Iraq have led to the deaths of at least 687,079 people and seriously injured another 1,318,163, based on lowest credible estimates - http://www.unknownnews.net/casualties.html
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice, although I did manage to lynch Saddam Hussein.
I strongly support the development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a vital Weapon of Mass Destruction.
I paved the way for a black man to become the next President.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.
 | George W Bush, November 2008
1600 Pennsylvania Ave
Washington, DC 20520 |
An earlier version of the President's resumé was published in 2003.
This updated version by Richard Neville has been cleared for release by the CIA.