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25 Things a Pessimist Should Try Before They Die

25 Things a Pessimist Should Try Before They Die

There was a man named Dave Freeman who co-wrote the ultimate list. “100 Things To Do Before You Die.” It was filled with adventures. Bungee jumping, running with the bulls in Pamplona, surfing nude at night in Australia and so on. Then last month at 47, Dave tripped in his hallway hit his head and died. He’d got through 50 of the 100 things he listed.

When people have an idea of things they’d like to do before they die, do they ever consider they might die tomorrow?

I consider this all the time. Not that it motivates me.

As far as I’m concerned, if you’re going to follow a list, it might as well be things you have a personal stake in. I tried to come up with a list of things I cared about doing before I die. But I didn’t get very far.

I’d like to have one week where something doesn’t go horribly wrong. But that’s more of a wish, than an activity. I persevered however and came up with a list tailored to my personality.

The problem is, being a pessimist means any list I come up with will be met with the question: what’s the point?

Nevertheless, there are things every pessimist should try at least once. Even if it’s only to confirm you were right to think it wouldn’t make a difference.

I tried to think of 50 Things A Pessimist Should Try Before They Die but could only come up with 25. I’d welcome more suggestions from fellow pessimists but I don’t expect anyone to bother.

1. Get out of bed with an excitement to start the day.

2. Substitute the answer “Great!” for “I’ve been better” when asked: How are you?

3. Go for a walk on the beach without worrying about skin cancer.

4. Fly without demanding a seat next to the emergency exit.

5. Wait for your luggage without panicking it’s on a flight to Guam.

6. Ride in an elevator without expecting the grinding sound that tells you it’s stuck between floors.

7. Touch the pole on the tube without pulling your sleeve down to cover your hand.

8. Sleep in a hotel bed without inspecting the mattress for bed bugs.

9. Buy a lottery ticket

10. Don’t assume that the waiter gave you regular instead of decaf

11. Use the nights you have insomnia to knit a scarf rather than ponder every mistake you’ve ever made

12. Get through at least one week of “4 weeks to a better body”

13. Attend a wedding without thinking they’ll be divorced in five years.

14. Eat sushi from a salad bar

15. Give someone a week to respond to an email without assuming they don’t care about you.

16. If you see hair in the sink, don’t predict you will be bald and alone for the rest of your life

17. Go to a party without expecting to hate it.

18. Tell a friend “You'll get over him” even if you don’t think she will.

19. Show up at work without worrying you’re about to lose your job.

20. Go out in the pouring rain believing a cab will turn up in seconds

21. If he tells you he’s busy and can’t talk don’t assume he’s having an affair.

22. Have someone explain why the stock market always corrects itself.

23. When someone tells you “This will pass” don’t ask: “But what if it doesn’t?”

24. Look at an old photograph of yourself without thinking your best days are behind you

25. Just once, experience what it feels like to say: life is good.

Ariel Leve is a New York based writer with The Sunday Times Magazine. Together with investigative features and in-depth interviews she writes a humorous weekly column, Cassandra. She has twice been nominated for British Press Awards. This year she was highly commended as Feature Writer Of The Year. She has written comedy for television and is currently working on her first novel. 

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Shministim. A new word, not a very new concept.

We, high-school graduate teens, declare that we shall work against the Israeli occupation and oppression policy in the occupied territories and the territories of Israel. Therefore we will refuse to take part of these actions, which are being done under our name as part of the IDF.

Our refusal comes first and foremost as a protest on the separation, control, oppression and killing policy held by the state of Israel in the occupied territories, as we understand that this oppression, killing and routing of hatred will never lead us to peace, and they are all contradictory to the basic values a society that pretends to be democratic should have.

All the members of this group believe in developing the value of social work. We are not refusing to serve the society we live in, but are protesting against the occupation and the ways of actions which the militaristic system holds as it is today- crushing civil rights, discriminating on a racial base and acting opposing international laws.

We oppose the actions taken in the name of the "defense" of the Israeli society (Checkpoints, targeted killing, apartheid roads-available for Jews only, curfews etc.) that serve the occupation and exploitation policy , annex more conquered territories to the State of Israel and tramples the rights of the Palestinian population in an aggressive manner. These actions serve as a band-aid covering a bleeding wound, and as a limited and temporary solution that will accelerate and aggravate the conflict further.

We expostulate the plundering and the theft of territories and source of income to the Palestinians in exchange to the expansion of the settlements, reasoning to defend Israeli territories. In addition, we oppose any transformation of Palestinian cities and villages to ghettos without minimal living conditions or income sources enclosed by the separation wall.

We also protest the humiliating and disrespectful behavior of the military forces towards Palestinians in the West Bank; violence towards demonstrators, public humiliations, arrests, destruction of property regardless to any safety or defense needs, all of which violate global human rights and international law.

The wall and blockades surround the Palestinian Territories and serve as a halter around the Palestinian's neck. The soldiers who commit crimes under the patronage and protection of their commanders reflect the image of the Israeli society; a destructive and surprising society that is incapable of accepting its neighboring nation as a partner and not as an enemy.

In order to hold an effective dialogue between the two societies, we, the well-established and stronger society, have the responsibility of establishing and strengthening the other. Only with a more socially and financially established partner could we work towards peace rather than one-sided retaliation acts. Rather than supporting those citizens who have hope for peace, the military cast sanctions and pushes more and more people towards acts of extreme violence and escalation.

We hereby challenge every citizen who wonders if the military's policy in the occupied territories is conducive to the progression of the peace process, to discover by himself/ herself the truth and to lift the veil which distorts the reality of the situation; to verify statistical data; to look for the humane side in him/her and in the society which stands in front of him/her, to disprove the myths that were routed within us regarding the necessity of the IDF's in the Palestinian Occupied Territories, and to stand up against every action which he finds irrational and illegal.

In a place were there are humans, there is someone to talk to. Therefore, we ask to create a dialogue that goes beyond the power struggle, the retaliation and one-sided attrition actions; to disprove the "No Partner" myth, which is leading to a lose-lose situation of an ongoing frustration, and to move to more humane methods.

We cannot hurt in the name of defense or imprison in the name of freedom; therefore we cannot be moral and serve the occupation.

Signed
Members of the Shministim Letter 2008.