Make this my home page
More buttons
Best of the Day
Page
What NOT to do when getting a tattoo
Video

Zeitgeist Addendum

Blog
America - You're Going Down (Under)
Game
Heavy Rain
Art

Zombie Haiku

Cool tools
Hot links
Everything you need to know about microscopic water bears
News for nerds
For lovers of the Green Fairy
Stories and art from Australia's Yolgnu people
Australia's best science fiction author
Did the earth just move?
Don't discount journalism
Novelist and comic book legend's homepage
Searchable history of the internet
Exposing systematic torture in Iran
Museum of science fiction, utopia and extraordinary journeys
The real story of christianity
Image bookmarking
Developing tech to get the internet to its full potential
Free Culture, Open Government, Liberty
Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, while having existed in secrecy for hundreds of years, only recently came into the mainstream when a letter was published in May 2005.

The letter read as follows:

Open Letter To Kansas School Board

I am writing you with much concern after having read of your hearing to decide whether the alternative theory of Intelligent Design should be taught along with the theory of Evolution. I think we can all agree that it is important for students to hear multiple viewpoints so they can choose for themselves the theory that makes the most sense to them. I am concerned, however, that students will only hear one theory of Intelligent Design.

Let us remember that there are multiple theories of Intelligent Design. I and many others around the world are of the strong belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. It was He who created all that we see and all that we feel. We feel strongly that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him.

It is for this reason that I’m writing you today, to formally request that this alternative theory be taught in your schools, along with the other two theories. In fact, I will go so far as to say, if you do not agree to do this, we will be forced to proceed with legal action. I’m sure you see where we are coming from. If the Intelligent Design theory is not based on faith, but instead another scientific theory, as is claimed, then you must also allow our theory to be taught, as it is also based on science, not on faith.

Some find that hard to believe, so it may be helpful to tell you a little more about our beliefs. We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence.

What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease. I’m sure you now realize how important it is that your students are taught this alternate theory.

It is absolutely imperative that they realize that observable evidence is at the discretion of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Furthermore, it is disrespectful to teach our beliefs without wearing His chosen outfit, which of course is full pirate regalia. I cannot stress the importance of this enough, and unfortunately cannot describe in detail why this must be done as I fear this letter is already becoming too long. The concise explanation is that He becomes angry if we don’t. You may be interested to know that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s.

For your interest, I have included a graph of the approximate number of pirates versus the average global temperature over the last 200 years. As you can see, there is a statistically significant inverse relationship between pirates and global temperature.

piratesarecool4

In conclusion, thank you for taking the time to hear our views and beliefs. I hope I was able to convey the importance of teaching this theory to your students. We will of course be able to train the teachers in this alternate theory. I am eagerly awaiting your response, and hope dearly that no legal action will need to be taken.

I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence.

Sincerely Yours,

Bobby Henderson, concerned citizen

With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents - mostly fundamentalist Christians. Some claim that the church is purely a thought experiment, satire, illustrating that Intelligent Design is not science, but rather a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push Creationism into public schools. These people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.

Join the worship of the Flying Spaghetti Monster by clicking View button below.

View the pageGo back to previous pageLeave some feedbackPrint this pageEmail link to friendsBookmark in del.icio.usAdd to Stumble ThisAdd to your favourite bookmarksDigg this article

Tags

 

Related Stories

   
Next
Years from today, when the current financial crisis is over, historians are likely to agree that it would have been far better if the Bush administration had declared a state of emergency earlier in the process so that the necessary steps could have taken to avoid a complete financial meltdown. The media could have been used to bring the American people up to date on market-related developments and educated in the bizarre language of structured finance. Knowledge is power; and power can prevent panic.

Now we're in a terrible fix. People are scared and removing their money from the banks and money markets. This is intensifying the freeze in the credit markets and driving stocks into the ground like a tent stake. Meanwhile, our leaders are caught in the headlights, still believing they can finesse their way through the biggest economic cataclysm since the Great Depression.

If something is not done to increase the flow of credit immediately, the stock market will tumble, unemployment will spike, and many businesses will grind to a standstill. We could be just days away from a severe shock to the system. Secretary of the Treasury Henry Paulson's $700 billion bailout does not focus on the fundamental problems and is likely to fail. At best, it puts off the day of reckoning for a few weeks or months. Contingency plans should be put in place so the country does not have to undergo post-Katrina bedlam. [More]

Find out about our Widget

Feedback

12 sep

The HomepageDAILY community likes to co-create both content and process. What are you thinking right now about what we do and how we do it? Tell us about the news, videos and stories and anything else you see on HPD. What you like, what you don't like, what you'd like to see in future. Recommend a website, video or article; send us pix, new stories - share it with us and by so doing you are giving us permission to share it with the world.

Leave Feedback here

            *********************************

Re: Zeitgeist Addendum

Brilliant, mind-expanding stuff - even better than the original. The timing is perfect with the criminal U.S. financial system in a state of collapse and dragging the world down with it. These times of crisis lead to paradigm shifts - it is time for the Zeitgeist revolution.

1. Boycott Citibank, JP Morgan Chase & Bank of America and expose the corrupt Federal Reserve system

2. Boycott the mainstream media networks and protect the freedom of the internet

3. Boycott the military

4. Boycott energy companies - get off the grid, convert your car

5. Reject the current political system - the illusion of democracy in this corrupt monetary system is an insult to our intelligence

6. Spread the message, create critical mass 

All the natural resources on the planet are the common heritage of all people. We can all live in abundance if we focus on real change - J.P.

            *********************************

Re: The Exorcism of Sarah

Religious belief should itself be a disqualification for executive office as it displays a complete lack of critical thinking. Will church and state ever really be separate in America? - Jesus

          *********************************

Re: Sia - Buttons

Thanx for supporting Sia. She is Australia's finest - Amy

           *********************************

Re: Alien Contact Coming October 14

I'm ready to believe but why would highly advanced aliens transmit their messages through such kooks. And what do the aliens have to do with 9/11? - The Truth is Really Out There

            *********************************

Re: Who The Fuck is Sarah Palin?

Thanks for the biggest laugh of the day. YOU calling Sarah Palin a retard made my day. I rarely see that level of irony. That whole "hate god so deny him" mental problem you have is obviously blurring your judgement. Peace out loser! - Mr Happy Bottom

            *********************************

Re: U.S. Economic Collapse? - From Michael Lerner

Economic collapse, I don't think so. The problem with all millenarium thinking is simply that things work at a much more glacial pace and are infinitely more complex than Michael/chicken little can get into the space of his squawk. Lehman Bros are not being singled out because they are perceived as "liberal" etc ; they are simple another of the bankstas who have hit the wall in the collapse of one of the history of money's ponzi schemes. The SCO (China)/India, resurgence of Russia and the emerging South American/Japan splintering of markets means the Wall Street pygmies now have to move out of the club house and actually perform because the game has really begun.

The banking cartel IS big news but its demise overdue and hoped for by most sentient human beings is not Economic collapse because Commerce is an essential human need and recruiter of human ability. Try one of the Economists from the USA who has been way prescient, calling these events at least two years ago to my knowledge. Dean Baker is occassionaly on mainstream media but they do not like him. The bloke really knows his stuff and while his focus is the USA his take on how Capitalism actually lurches about is fair dinkum info the world in general needs to factor in - Anthony Innes

10 aug
9 jul
More feedback...
© 2007 homePageDAILY - All rights reserved * Terms of Use * Privacy Policy * Advertising Information * Media Kit * Contact Us